And the fail blogger award goes to...

I am a terrible blogger. I get busy, which pushes blogging onto the sidelines. Sorry about that. But I'm back for another post!

Today is my birthday. Well, actually, I guess yesterday was my birthday. I tend to write my blog posts very late at night, but at any rate, it still feels like the same day I started when I got up this morning - which was my birthday. I turned 27. Getting older has never really bothered me. I'm not dreading the whole turning 30 thing in the next few years like most of my friends and my husband is. It's just a number. "You're only as old as you feel," as the saying goes; which most days is about 80...

I've always felt my birthday was worthy of celebration and that I should be the centre of attention. I'm not a selfish person, I just feel that I spend so much time and effort focusing on others for the other 364 days of the year that it would be nice to have one day that is just about me. Is that so wrong? I see my birthday as a day to do whatever I want and eat whatever I want - which I most certainly did! To be honest, though, I've been eating whatever I want for over a month now (more on that in a bit). My husband treated me very well today. He made me a delicious breakfast (well, more like lunch made from breakfast foods) and a super yummy steak dinner. I got to sleep in this morning. I hardly had to change any diapers (best birthday present EVER!). Over all, it was a pretty good day.

Going back to my comment about my eating... I've been slacking. I know, I know. It seems like déjà vu, right? I haven't done as poorly as the last time I "fell off the wagon." I still don't (or more like can't) eat as much as I did before, I still try to make good food decisions over all, and I don't eat bad things as often as I once did. I may not have lost any weight over the last month or so, but I've done well at maintaining my weight. As of Tuesday when I last weighed myself, I'm 232.6 pounds.

I also haven't been exercising regularly. I'll ride my stationary bike once-in-a-while and I walk my daughter to preschool twice a week (though starting this Tuesday we'll be driving because it's just too dang cold!), but nothing that would encourage weight loss. I don't know why I haven't been exercising. I always feel so good afterwards. I guess it's in part due to being so busy. I've been trying to get as many shifts at work as possible (at one point I worked 14 days straight without a day off). Plus, I'm still working on my online classes, taking care of my house and kids, and trying to crochet a bunch of Christmas gifts. I know I should just schedule my workout in there somewhere, but sometimes it's just easier to not worry about it.

However, after how gross I feel today (I consumed a LOT of food), I'm ready to get back at 'er and start losing weight again. As one of the women on the Lose It! group "100+ Pounds to go" said to me, this isn't an all or nothing process. Just because I hit a rough patch doesn't mean I should give up, it's just a small detour that I'm making before getting back on the right road. As long as I choose to get back on that road, I'm going in the right direction. I've come so far, I won't just throw all my hard work away. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm ready once again to start making myself a better, healthier person.

Wish me luck!

October Measurements

I realize the title is deceiving, considering we aren't quite in October, but I figured one day wasn't going to make a difference either way. September was a very successful month for me! Probably the best month I've had yet! I did my weekly weigh in this morning and I was pleased to see that I was down 1.3 pounds. Not a huge loss, but significantly better than I was anticipating. That means that I lost 12.2 pounds over the month of September and 33 pounds altogether. So exciting! My inches lost is even better! Here are my measurements for the start of October:

Upper Arm: 14 inches (left) and 14 inches (right)
Forearm: 11 inches (left) and 11 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 26 inches (left) and 26 inches (right)
Calf: 17 inches (left) and 17 inches (right)
Hips: 47 inches
Waist: 38.5 inches
Chest: 38 inches

I lost a total of 13 inches since the beginning of September, with a good chunk of those inches coming off my thighs and waist. I could just squeal with delight! If you would like to compare, you can find my original measurements here and my September measurements here.

I'm a little sad that I am unable to work out today, but the West Side Hill really kicked my butt yesterday! Not only did all my muscles from the waist down scream at me today, I was just absolutely exhausted! I ended up napping on the couch for three hours! Hopefully everything will be in working order tomorrow so that I can get back on track. At least I made sure that I was eating properly today and that I was well within my budget. I can't let one bad week get me down and keep me there. I can't go back to where I was, that is not an option.

Goal complete!

I love autumn! It's such a beautiful season. The coulees are so gorgeous when the leaves start to change colour. I had the opportunity to enjoy the coulees today (from a slight distance) and experience their fall beauty. As I said I would, I walked the West Side Hill again, both ways. I took a picture of the river bottom:

The other side of the bridge had more beautiful colours, but I would have had to go out of my way to take pictures, so this one will have to do.

My walk went very well. I did it alone, once again, because Ashlee was out of town and I was determined to complete my goal by the end of September as I said I would. It took me an hour and 50 minutes to complete the 10.18 kilometre walk (not including my break in between). I stopped for about 10-15 minutes at Tim Hortons and enjoyed a White Hot Chocolate (or half of one anyway).

Walking up to Tim Hortons was easy enough. My average pace per kilometre on my way there was 10 minutes 16 seconds. However, on my way home I was against the wind the entire time. Which, if you lived here, you'd understand that this is no easy feat. I live in a city which ranks within the top 10 windiest cities in Canada! For example, we currently have a wind storm warning for tomorrow where the winds are expected to get up to 110 kilometres per hour. That's insane! This happens on a fairly regular basis. While it was very windy today, I still managed to keep my average overall pace relatively low at 10 minutes 46 seconds.

I'm feeling very accomplished, though my legs are telling me otherwise. When I finally got home I felt like I may explode if I stopped walking, in a good way, if that makes any sense... Now I need to set a new goal for something to accomplish in the upcoming months. I'm almost done my RunKeeper goal of walking 125 kilometres before October 31. Since September 1, I have walked 107 kilometres, which is 86 percent of my overall goal. I suspect that I'll complete that goal this week also. I guess I will need to start running!

Unfortunately, aside from walking the Hill today, this past week has been a real bust. I couldn't seem to get out of the funk I was in last weekend. I weighed in on Monday and I did have a 3.9 pound loss, which puts me at a grand total of 31.7 pounds lost, but I imagine I've gained a pound or two over the week. I'm not even looking for a loss this week, the best I can hope for is to have maintained my weight over the week, but I'm sure that's not likely. I hardly worked out and I indulged myself far too often. But take heart! This is not a sign of things to come. The last couple days I've been feeling better; more like myself. I will get back into the swing of things and keep on truckin'! I've come too far to let myself go once again. That would not be good for my health and what kind of example would I be setting for my kids?

I've decided that I'm going to take my measurements tomorrow when I weigh in for the week. I can't see one day making a difference in the numbers. I'm excited to see how many inches I've lost! Like I've said before, I can already see differences in my appearance. I had to buy a new pair of jeans last weekend because I could pull mine off with no effort without undoing them first. Even my yoga pants are starting to get all saggy-bottomed on me! It's very exciting and motivating! How could I not keep this up?!

A bit of a breakdown...

I'm feeling a little rough presently, and as such, I broke down and stuffed my face. It's not as bad as it could have been,  but I still feel like crap both physically and emotionally. I ended up being 404 calories over my budget for the day, but a good chunk of my calories came from crunchy Cheetos and Oreos. I had originally intended to get a large Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but I talked myself out of it. I currently have two things eating away at me. I feel frustrated and alone and it's a terrible feeling. I thought having some "comfort food" would help make me feel better, but it only made things worse.

At the start of the month my oldest child was diagnosed with autism. We had already assumed that would be the case, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier to hear now that it is official. I've been trying really hard to put on a brave face and pretend like it doesn't bother me, but it does. I love my daughter with all my heart and her diagnoses doesn't change that for a second. The diagnoses does, however, scare me about how her future is going to look. She's not even three yet and I'm fretting over how she's going to make friends, how she's going to handle school and if she'll ever be able to have a family of her own.

What makes me feel even worse about the whole thing is that I don't always have the patience she needs and deserves. I find myself, at times, getting short with her. It's not fair to her, she doesn't understand. She can't communicate well, especially when it comes to her needs. The only way she's able to "tell" me that she needs/wants something is to whine. But oh that whine... It's enough to drive a person mad... I feel like such a horrible mother. A failure.

Which brings me to the next part. All this makes me miss my own mother. Come September 28th, it will have been two years since she passed away. I need her now more than ever. I could really use her guidance and help. While I realize that my life is not terrible by any means, it still feels unfair. Unfair that my mother should be taken from me so quickly. Unfair that I should be dealt a difficult hand of cards. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to handle it all.

My husband is very understanding and supportive, but he doesn't handle emotion very well, either his own or others', and because of this it makes me feel very alone. Hopefully things will get easier. For now, I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other. At least I know now that binging won't make me feel any better. I guess that means my dependence on food isn't as strong at it once was, so there's the silver lining. Part of the this whole process is making mistakes, learning from them and moving on. And while it doesn't feel nice to feel how I do now, I'm thankful that I learned something during this trying time.

Checking in...

It's been a little while since I last made a post. It has been pretty busy around here lately. But rest assured, even though I've been busy, my eating and exercise have not suffered! As a matter of fact, last week I walked a total of 47 kilometres! That's pretty awesome considering I only walked 50 kilometres the whole month of August. I set a goal in my RunKeeper to walk 125 kilometres by October 31, which I thought would be a struggle - considering I barely made it to 50 kilometres for August - but it hasn't been. I'm already 57 percent of the way to my goal. I guess it's not a difficult goal to accomplish considering I've been walking a minimum of five kilometres almost every day. My daughter started preschool at the start of the month, where she attends two days a week. The school isn't far from our house, so we walk, which gives me 10 kilometres a week just from walking there twice a week.

In the last two weeks I've lost another six pounds, which is a total of 27.8 pounds lost. I was absolutely ecstatic to see that I was under 240 pounds!  There is nothing more motivating than seeing the numbers on the scale continue to decrease. I have started to notice physical changes, which is also a great motivator. Shirts that were too snug before are starting to look nice on me. I'm getting close to dropping another pant size. My husband said he's noticed that my butt and thighs are shrinking. It's really giving me a confidence boost. I definitely won't have the "fat girl syndrome" when I've lost all the weight. Every time I can wear - and rock! - something in a smaller size, I do! All these little victories are making me feel great!

Yesterday was mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we went to The Keg for dinner. It was a lovely evening!  I enjoyed the childless company of my husband, a delicious appetizer and meal and the most to-die-for dessert (seriously, if you go to The Keg, get the Billie Miner Pie, it's like you've died and gone to heaven)!  I did go over my calories for the day. I gave myself permission ahead of time to enjoy the evening and not restrict myself. I figured that one day isn't going to hurt me. It's rare for me to go over my calorie budget for the day (before factoring in exercise calories) and I almost never eat more than my budget plus calories burned. Even with being over budget (my current daily budget is 1,650 calories), I was still under 2,431 calories for the week. So I'm still on track!

In about two weeks I'm going to walk the West Side Hill both ways. Is it odd that I'm excited about it? I'm actually looking forward to doing it, even though it might kill me. It'll be the longest walk that I've accomplished yet at over 10 kilometres. I do plan to rest for a bit half-way, maybe for 30 minutes or so. I'm going to be truly impressed with myself if/when I complete that walk!

I've also come to the conclusion that I'd like to start running. That seems like the next logical step. I really enjoy walking, but I can't just keep tacking on more distance every time a need to increase the challenge, otherwise I'll be walking for three hours a day. Sure, I can continue to increase my walking speed, but you can only increase it by so much before you're running anyway. I'll need to invest in a good sports bra and find my knee brace before I can attempt any running. I should also probably buy something to strap my iPhone to my person to keep it in place (currently I just stuff my phone in my bra, classy I know). I figure that I could start a Couch to 5 Kilometre (C25K) regimen within the next month or so. This will also likely lead to me breaking down and getting a gym membership. While treadmills are the bane of my existence, I'm not overly confident in my abilities to run in snow. We shall see what will happen!

I survived, hooray!

I did it! I did it! Hooray! I did it backwards, but I still did it! I finally walked the West Side Hill. I started at the Tim Horton's and walked home, rather than the other way around. My husband and I took the kids out for a picnic in the coulees, so I thought it would be easier to be dropped off at the Timmies and just walk home. I ended up doing the walk alone because Ashlee was indisposed this evening. It took me 58 minutes to walk 5.08 kilometres. I took some pictures so that you can see what I walked.

This is the top of the hill:

These next three are from the middle of the bridge, showing the way I came, the view over the bridge and the way I'm heading:

I was going to take a picture at the top of the other side, but I was in such a groove that I didn't want to stop walking to take the picture. The hill wasn't as steep as I was anticipating. The hill I walked Saturday was a lot steeper than this hill was. I'm glad that I accomplished my goal though. Because I started at Timmies rather than ending there, my husband went out and picked me up an Iced Capp for completing my goal. I had it made with milk rather than cream to make it *somewhat* healthier. It actually tasted better that way!

My next goal is to walk the West Side Hill both ways. I'll walk from my house up to the Timmies and back again, after having a break at the Timmies for a delicious Iced Capp! I plan to accomplish this at the end of the month.

September Measurements

I cannot believe that it is already the first of September! Where did this year go?! Time has just been flying by lately. September marks a very busy and eventful month. My son is 18-months-old today. My daughter starts pre-school on Tuesday. My wedding anniversary is on the 15th. I'll have something to keep me occupied, no doubt.

With the start of a new month comes taking my measurements to see if there has been any improvements from the previous month. I have mixed feelings over the results. On one hand, I'm disappointed that I didn't do better, but on the other I'm happy to see an improvement, even if it isn't what I was hoping for. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself. The week my in-laws were visiting I pretty much didn't exercise and the week after they left I didn't exactly go full-tilt into exercising either. You have to put the effort in to reap the rewards. Here are my current measurements:

Upper Arm: 14.5 inches (left) and 14.5 inches (right)
Forearm: 11 inches (left) and 11 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 28 inches (left) and 28 inches (right)
Calf: 17 inches (left) and 17.5 inches (right)
Hips: 49.5 inches
Waist: 42.5 inches
Chest: 39 inches

Last month's measurements can be found here. All-in-all, I have lost 10.5 inches total since August 1. I guess it's not so bad when you look at it in total inches lost. It probably wouldn't be too healthy to lose a ton of inches off of one body part so quickly. Slow and steady wins the race! I also weighed myself this morning, as part of some of the challenges that I'm apart of on Lose It! (I've been trying to break my habit of weighing myself daily). I've finally broken free from my 247.2 pound plateau and lost just shy of two pounds! I'm now 245.3 pounds. I'm very happy about that!

I did the coulee walk again yesterday. I upped the ante though. When Ashlee and I did the walk last week, we drove to the path and only walked down and up the coulee path. This time I was by myself and I walked from my house to the coulees, then when down into the coulee and back up and walked home after. It's a 6.79 kilometre walk round-trip and it took me an hour and 18 minutes. I was absolutely exhausted once I got home, but I felt very accomplished! I want to try and make that walk something that I do weekly, at least until the weather gets really crumby. I wouldn't want to try and walk that steep hill in the snow, that's for sure!

In other news, tomorrow is the day that Ashlee and I have set to walk the West Side Hill. I'm not sure how I feel about finally walking it. I've lived here all my life and never once in 26 years have I felt compelled to walk the length of it. At this point, the best I can hope for is that I don't die! If I make it to the other side in one piece, there's a large Iced Capp waiting for me at Tim Horton's! Wish me luck!