Goal complete!

I love autumn! It's such a beautiful season. The coulees are so gorgeous when the leaves start to change colour. I had the opportunity to enjoy the coulees today (from a slight distance) and experience their fall beauty. As I said I would, I walked the West Side Hill again, both ways. I took a picture of the river bottom:

The other side of the bridge had more beautiful colours, but I would have had to go out of my way to take pictures, so this one will have to do.

My walk went very well. I did it alone, once again, because Ashlee was out of town and I was determined to complete my goal by the end of September as I said I would. It took me an hour and 50 minutes to complete the 10.18 kilometre walk (not including my break in between). I stopped for about 10-15 minutes at Tim Hortons and enjoyed a White Hot Chocolate (or half of one anyway).

Walking up to Tim Hortons was easy enough. My average pace per kilometre on my way there was 10 minutes 16 seconds. However, on my way home I was against the wind the entire time. Which, if you lived here, you'd understand that this is no easy feat. I live in a city which ranks within the top 10 windiest cities in Canada! For example, we currently have a wind storm warning for tomorrow where the winds are expected to get up to 110 kilometres per hour. That's insane! This happens on a fairly regular basis. While it was very windy today, I still managed to keep my average overall pace relatively low at 10 minutes 46 seconds.

I'm feeling very accomplished, though my legs are telling me otherwise. When I finally got home I felt like I may explode if I stopped walking, in a good way, if that makes any sense... Now I need to set a new goal for something to accomplish in the upcoming months. I'm almost done my RunKeeper goal of walking 125 kilometres before October 31. Since September 1, I have walked 107 kilometres, which is 86 percent of my overall goal. I suspect that I'll complete that goal this week also. I guess I will need to start running!

Unfortunately, aside from walking the Hill today, this past week has been a real bust. I couldn't seem to get out of the funk I was in last weekend. I weighed in on Monday and I did have a 3.9 pound loss, which puts me at a grand total of 31.7 pounds lost, but I imagine I've gained a pound or two over the week. I'm not even looking for a loss this week, the best I can hope for is to have maintained my weight over the week, but I'm sure that's not likely. I hardly worked out and I indulged myself far too often. But take heart! This is not a sign of things to come. The last couple days I've been feeling better; more like myself. I will get back into the swing of things and keep on truckin'! I've come too far to let myself go once again. That would not be good for my health and what kind of example would I be setting for my kids?

I've decided that I'm going to take my measurements tomorrow when I weigh in for the week. I can't see one day making a difference in the numbers. I'm excited to see how many inches I've lost! Like I've said before, I can already see differences in my appearance. I had to buy a new pair of jeans last weekend because I could pull mine off with no effort without undoing them first. Even my yoga pants are starting to get all saggy-bottomed on me! It's very exciting and motivating! How could I not keep this up?!

A bit of a breakdown...

I'm feeling a little rough presently, and as such, I broke down and stuffed my face. It's not as bad as it could have been,  but I still feel like crap both physically and emotionally. I ended up being 404 calories over my budget for the day, but a good chunk of my calories came from crunchy Cheetos and Oreos. I had originally intended to get a large Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but I talked myself out of it. I currently have two things eating away at me. I feel frustrated and alone and it's a terrible feeling. I thought having some "comfort food" would help make me feel better, but it only made things worse.

At the start of the month my oldest child was diagnosed with autism. We had already assumed that would be the case, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier to hear now that it is official. I've been trying really hard to put on a brave face and pretend like it doesn't bother me, but it does. I love my daughter with all my heart and her diagnoses doesn't change that for a second. The diagnoses does, however, scare me about how her future is going to look. She's not even three yet and I'm fretting over how she's going to make friends, how she's going to handle school and if she'll ever be able to have a family of her own.

What makes me feel even worse about the whole thing is that I don't always have the patience she needs and deserves. I find myself, at times, getting short with her. It's not fair to her, she doesn't understand. She can't communicate well, especially when it comes to her needs. The only way she's able to "tell" me that she needs/wants something is to whine. But oh that whine... It's enough to drive a person mad... I feel like such a horrible mother. A failure.

Which brings me to the next part. All this makes me miss my own mother. Come September 28th, it will have been two years since she passed away. I need her now more than ever. I could really use her guidance and help. While I realize that my life is not terrible by any means, it still feels unfair. Unfair that my mother should be taken from me so quickly. Unfair that I should be dealt a difficult hand of cards. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to handle it all.

My husband is very understanding and supportive, but he doesn't handle emotion very well, either his own or others', and because of this it makes me feel very alone. Hopefully things will get easier. For now, I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other. At least I know now that binging won't make me feel any better. I guess that means my dependence on food isn't as strong at it once was, so there's the silver lining. Part of the this whole process is making mistakes, learning from them and moving on. And while it doesn't feel nice to feel how I do now, I'm thankful that I learned something during this trying time.

Checking in...

It's been a little while since I last made a post. It has been pretty busy around here lately. But rest assured, even though I've been busy, my eating and exercise have not suffered! As a matter of fact, last week I walked a total of 47 kilometres! That's pretty awesome considering I only walked 50 kilometres the whole month of August. I set a goal in my RunKeeper to walk 125 kilometres by October 31, which I thought would be a struggle - considering I barely made it to 50 kilometres for August - but it hasn't been. I'm already 57 percent of the way to my goal. I guess it's not a difficult goal to accomplish considering I've been walking a minimum of five kilometres almost every day. My daughter started preschool at the start of the month, where she attends two days a week. The school isn't far from our house, so we walk, which gives me 10 kilometres a week just from walking there twice a week.

In the last two weeks I've lost another six pounds, which is a total of 27.8 pounds lost. I was absolutely ecstatic to see that I was under 240 pounds!  There is nothing more motivating than seeing the numbers on the scale continue to decrease. I have started to notice physical changes, which is also a great motivator. Shirts that were too snug before are starting to look nice on me. I'm getting close to dropping another pant size. My husband said he's noticed that my butt and thighs are shrinking. It's really giving me a confidence boost. I definitely won't have the "fat girl syndrome" when I've lost all the weight. Every time I can wear - and rock! - something in a smaller size, I do! All these little victories are making me feel great!

Yesterday was mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we went to The Keg for dinner. It was a lovely evening!  I enjoyed the childless company of my husband, a delicious appetizer and meal and the most to-die-for dessert (seriously, if you go to The Keg, get the Billie Miner Pie, it's like you've died and gone to heaven)!  I did go over my calories for the day. I gave myself permission ahead of time to enjoy the evening and not restrict myself. I figured that one day isn't going to hurt me. It's rare for me to go over my calorie budget for the day (before factoring in exercise calories) and I almost never eat more than my budget plus calories burned. Even with being over budget (my current daily budget is 1,650 calories), I was still under 2,431 calories for the week. So I'm still on track!

In about two weeks I'm going to walk the West Side Hill both ways. Is it odd that I'm excited about it? I'm actually looking forward to doing it, even though it might kill me. It'll be the longest walk that I've accomplished yet at over 10 kilometres. I do plan to rest for a bit half-way, maybe for 30 minutes or so. I'm going to be truly impressed with myself if/when I complete that walk!

I've also come to the conclusion that I'd like to start running. That seems like the next logical step. I really enjoy walking, but I can't just keep tacking on more distance every time a need to increase the challenge, otherwise I'll be walking for three hours a day. Sure, I can continue to increase my walking speed, but you can only increase it by so much before you're running anyway. I'll need to invest in a good sports bra and find my knee brace before I can attempt any running. I should also probably buy something to strap my iPhone to my person to keep it in place (currently I just stuff my phone in my bra, classy I know). I figure that I could start a Couch to 5 Kilometre (C25K) regimen within the next month or so. This will also likely lead to me breaking down and getting a gym membership. While treadmills are the bane of my existence, I'm not overly confident in my abilities to run in snow. We shall see what will happen!

I survived, hooray!

I did it! I did it! Hooray! I did it backwards, but I still did it! I finally walked the West Side Hill. I started at the Tim Horton's and walked home, rather than the other way around. My husband and I took the kids out for a picnic in the coulees, so I thought it would be easier to be dropped off at the Timmies and just walk home. I ended up doing the walk alone because Ashlee was indisposed this evening. It took me 58 minutes to walk 5.08 kilometres. I took some pictures so that you can see what I walked.

This is the top of the hill:

These next three are from the middle of the bridge, showing the way I came, the view over the bridge and the way I'm heading:

I was going to take a picture at the top of the other side, but I was in such a groove that I didn't want to stop walking to take the picture. The hill wasn't as steep as I was anticipating. The hill I walked Saturday was a lot steeper than this hill was. I'm glad that I accomplished my goal though. Because I started at Timmies rather than ending there, my husband went out and picked me up an Iced Capp for completing my goal. I had it made with milk rather than cream to make it *somewhat* healthier. It actually tasted better that way!

My next goal is to walk the West Side Hill both ways. I'll walk from my house up to the Timmies and back again, after having a break at the Timmies for a delicious Iced Capp! I plan to accomplish this at the end of the month.

September Measurements

I cannot believe that it is already the first of September! Where did this year go?! Time has just been flying by lately. September marks a very busy and eventful month. My son is 18-months-old today. My daughter starts pre-school on Tuesday. My wedding anniversary is on the 15th. I'll have something to keep me occupied, no doubt.

With the start of a new month comes taking my measurements to see if there has been any improvements from the previous month. I have mixed feelings over the results. On one hand, I'm disappointed that I didn't do better, but on the other I'm happy to see an improvement, even if it isn't what I was hoping for. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself. The week my in-laws were visiting I pretty much didn't exercise and the week after they left I didn't exactly go full-tilt into exercising either. You have to put the effort in to reap the rewards. Here are my current measurements:

Upper Arm: 14.5 inches (left) and 14.5 inches (right)
Forearm: 11 inches (left) and 11 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 28 inches (left) and 28 inches (right)
Calf: 17 inches (left) and 17.5 inches (right)
Hips: 49.5 inches
Waist: 42.5 inches
Chest: 39 inches

Last month's measurements can be found here. All-in-all, I have lost 10.5 inches total since August 1. I guess it's not so bad when you look at it in total inches lost. It probably wouldn't be too healthy to lose a ton of inches off of one body part so quickly. Slow and steady wins the race! I also weighed myself this morning, as part of some of the challenges that I'm apart of on Lose It! (I've been trying to break my habit of weighing myself daily). I've finally broken free from my 247.2 pound plateau and lost just shy of two pounds! I'm now 245.3 pounds. I'm very happy about that!

I did the coulee walk again yesterday. I upped the ante though. When Ashlee and I did the walk last week, we drove to the path and only walked down and up the coulee path. This time I was by myself and I walked from my house to the coulees, then when down into the coulee and back up and walked home after. It's a 6.79 kilometre walk round-trip and it took me an hour and 18 minutes. I was absolutely exhausted once I got home, but I felt very accomplished! I want to try and make that walk something that I do weekly, at least until the weather gets really crumby. I wouldn't want to try and walk that steep hill in the snow, that's for sure!

In other news, tomorrow is the day that Ashlee and I have set to walk the West Side Hill. I'm not sure how I feel about finally walking it. I've lived here all my life and never once in 26 years have I felt compelled to walk the length of it. At this point, the best I can hope for is that I don't die! If I make it to the other side in one piece, there's a large Iced Capp waiting for me at Tim Horton's! Wish me luck!

Highly motivated...

What a fantastic week I've been having! I didn't have an overly eventful week, but I've been really motivated this week to exercise. I have done some exercise or another every day since Sunday, which to me, is great! Usually I'm not motivated to work out every day, but this week has been different. Even on the days where I haven't felt up to exercising I've broke down and done something anyway. Yesterday I even took my kids out in the stroller for a five kilometre walk. I haven't walked that far at one time since February. It was nice. I was going to take the kids for a walk again this morning, but it's really windy and I didn't want to take them out in it (not to mention my double stroller is a pain in the rear to push under optimal conditions, let alone when it's super windy).

In addition to walking and/or riding my stationary bike, I've been using my Daily Workout app pretty much daily. I love that app! It's so easy to incorporate into my daily routine. At the moment, I only do about 10 minutes of "floor" exercises (I call them floor exercises because there are a lot that are done on the floor and for lack of a better name). Each day I do two of the four main sections for five minutes each. So one day I will do five minutes of arm exercises and five minutes of leg exercises. The next day I will do five minutes of each of the ab and butt (as the app so eloquently puts it...) exercises. When I'm feeling more confident in my ability, I'll increase each exercise's time increments to 7.5 minutes and then to 10, but for now five minutes works just fine for me.

I've been eating alright this past week, though I find myself really hungry lately. I'm not sure why, maybe because of my increased activity, I don't know. I've been trying very hard to make sure that I stay within my daily calorie budget and that I don't "eat" my exercise calories. This past Tuesday I was ravenously hungry, so I did break down and "eat" my exercise calories, but I didn't eat more than my calorie budget plus the burned calories (meaning, I was still in the clear for the day). Hopefully I don't feel this way for long. It definitely makes it hard to stay on track when I'm constantly feeling hungry. I've been trying to make good food choices when I am hungry, like snacking on an apple or some cucumber slices.

Speaking of apples, I came across a very tasty and not-so-bad-for-you apple recipe on Pinterest. It's called "Apples in a Bag" (the recipe is by Paula Rhodes). It's so quick and simple to make! Here's the recipe:

Ingredients
1 medium apple
1 packet of sweetener or a spoonful of sugar
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon water
Small handful of raisins, optional

Instructions
Peel or don’t peel apple, core and slice or dice. Place in freezer-quality plastic zippered bag along with remaining ingredients. Seal bag and shake well to mix ingredients. Reopen bag just a touch to vent. Microwave on High for 2 minutes – longer if you use a big apple. Carefully (it will be HOT and steamy) open bag and pour over plain or cinnamon-sugar pita chips, flour tortilla chips, oatmeal or ice cream.

Note: It is important that a freezer bag is used for this recipe. If a regular sandwich bag is used, it'll just melt and make a horrible mess in your microwave.

When I make them, I don't use the raisins and I use half a tablespoon of brown sugar, plus I just eat it on it's own (no chips or ice cream). I have tried both peeled and non-peeled apples. Because I have an issue with textures, I prefer the peeled apples because when you cook them, the apple's insides go soft (think of apple pie), but the skin remains hard and crunchy. It's just not a combination I find appealing. Once everything is combined and cooked, it's almost like you're eating apple pie or crumble, but without all the pastry. There are about 123 calories for this recipe and it's really quite filling and satisfies my sweet tooth. I actually need to pick up more apples so that when I have another sweet craving, I can make this again.

I've gotten in the terrible habit of weighing myself every day or every other day. I don't know why I've started to do this and it definitely plays tricks on my head. I don't record my weight on Lose It! every time I weigh, usually just on Monday (unless there was a pretty good loss). Since I recorded my last weight, which was 246.3, I have gone up to 247.2 and I have remained pretty constant on that number for the last few days. I'm not sure why that is. As I've said, I've been making sure to stay within my budget for the day. The only thing I can attribute the gain to is building muscle mass. I'm hoping that I can figure it out soon because not having a loss, especially when you're doing things right, is very frustrating. I also hope that when I take my measurements for the start of September that they will reflect a loss in inches to at least compensate for the lack of loss in weight.

Holy macaroni, Batman!

Oh my goodness! I just got home from the most intense walk EVER - if you can call it that. I decided that it would be a good idea to go for a walk... down in the coulees... For those of you that don't know what a coulee is, it's kind of like a valley (my dictionary defines it as a "deep ravine"). I dragged Ashlee along with me for good measure.

Going down wasn't so bad, neither was walking on the path when we got to the bottom (mind you the path was flat at the bottom...). But lord have mercy, going back up was an entirely different story! I thought I was going to die. On top of having to go up a very steep incline, we brilliantly decided to do this at night. Where I live, it's pretty dark by 9 PM this time of the year. The coulee probably isn't the smartest, nor safest, place to be walking at night. People aren't so much of a threat, but wildlife sure is! We have a very high population of rattlesnakes, primarily down in the coulees, which like to venture out at night. I'm pretty sure I heard one not far off of the path. On our way back up the coulee path, I saw a snake on the path - which made me scream like a little girl and start running. Thankfully, it was just a little snake, like a garter snake or something (I'm definitely not a snake expert and I didn't get that good of a look at it). Still enough to spook me!

Darkness, snakes and bugs aside, it was a good walk. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly we were able to complete the path. We walked about 2.58 kilometres, which took us 32 minutes including a couple of breaks to catch our breath on our way up. My average pace per kilometre was 12:28, which I'm pretty happy with given that I was going up hill and stopped briefly four or so times. My heart rate monitor (I bought the Polar FT4, I'll write about it sometime) was getting cranky at me on the way up. For optimal heart health, your heart rate should be within a certain range for certain activities. Generally, when you're wearing a heart rate monitor you're doing so while performing a physical activity, so the monitor beeps at you if you're not within a certain range. My range is 126 to 165. At one point, my heart rate peaked at 189! Yikes! I'm sure running from the snake, whilst going up hill didn't help matters. Thankfully, I didn't feel like I was going to pass out or anything like that. I was a little winded, but that's to be expected. I'm also thankful that I didn't end up having an asthma attack (which has often occurred to me while going uphill).

So, in the end, would I do it again? Sure. I just wouldn't do it at night!