And the fail blogger award goes to...

I am a terrible blogger. I get busy, which pushes blogging onto the sidelines. Sorry about that. But I'm back for another post!

Today is my birthday. Well, actually, I guess yesterday was my birthday. I tend to write my blog posts very late at night, but at any rate, it still feels like the same day I started when I got up this morning - which was my birthday. I turned 27. Getting older has never really bothered me. I'm not dreading the whole turning 30 thing in the next few years like most of my friends and my husband is. It's just a number. "You're only as old as you feel," as the saying goes; which most days is about 80...

I've always felt my birthday was worthy of celebration and that I should be the centre of attention. I'm not a selfish person, I just feel that I spend so much time and effort focusing on others for the other 364 days of the year that it would be nice to have one day that is just about me. Is that so wrong? I see my birthday as a day to do whatever I want and eat whatever I want - which I most certainly did! To be honest, though, I've been eating whatever I want for over a month now (more on that in a bit). My husband treated me very well today. He made me a delicious breakfast (well, more like lunch made from breakfast foods) and a super yummy steak dinner. I got to sleep in this morning. I hardly had to change any diapers (best birthday present EVER!). Over all, it was a pretty good day.

Going back to my comment about my eating... I've been slacking. I know, I know. It seems like déjà vu, right? I haven't done as poorly as the last time I "fell off the wagon." I still don't (or more like can't) eat as much as I did before, I still try to make good food decisions over all, and I don't eat bad things as often as I once did. I may not have lost any weight over the last month or so, but I've done well at maintaining my weight. As of Tuesday when I last weighed myself, I'm 232.6 pounds.

I also haven't been exercising regularly. I'll ride my stationary bike once-in-a-while and I walk my daughter to preschool twice a week (though starting this Tuesday we'll be driving because it's just too dang cold!), but nothing that would encourage weight loss. I don't know why I haven't been exercising. I always feel so good afterwards. I guess it's in part due to being so busy. I've been trying to get as many shifts at work as possible (at one point I worked 14 days straight without a day off). Plus, I'm still working on my online classes, taking care of my house and kids, and trying to crochet a bunch of Christmas gifts. I know I should just schedule my workout in there somewhere, but sometimes it's just easier to not worry about it.

However, after how gross I feel today (I consumed a LOT of food), I'm ready to get back at 'er and start losing weight again. As one of the women on the Lose It! group "100+ Pounds to go" said to me, this isn't an all or nothing process. Just because I hit a rough patch doesn't mean I should give up, it's just a small detour that I'm making before getting back on the right road. As long as I choose to get back on that road, I'm going in the right direction. I've come so far, I won't just throw all my hard work away. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm ready once again to start making myself a better, healthier person.

Wish me luck!

October Measurements

I realize the title is deceiving, considering we aren't quite in October, but I figured one day wasn't going to make a difference either way. September was a very successful month for me! Probably the best month I've had yet! I did my weekly weigh in this morning and I was pleased to see that I was down 1.3 pounds. Not a huge loss, but significantly better than I was anticipating. That means that I lost 12.2 pounds over the month of September and 33 pounds altogether. So exciting! My inches lost is even better! Here are my measurements for the start of October:

Upper Arm: 14 inches (left) and 14 inches (right)
Forearm: 11 inches (left) and 11 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 26 inches (left) and 26 inches (right)
Calf: 17 inches (left) and 17 inches (right)
Hips: 47 inches
Waist: 38.5 inches
Chest: 38 inches

I lost a total of 13 inches since the beginning of September, with a good chunk of those inches coming off my thighs and waist. I could just squeal with delight! If you would like to compare, you can find my original measurements here and my September measurements here.

I'm a little sad that I am unable to work out today, but the West Side Hill really kicked my butt yesterday! Not only did all my muscles from the waist down scream at me today, I was just absolutely exhausted! I ended up napping on the couch for three hours! Hopefully everything will be in working order tomorrow so that I can get back on track. At least I made sure that I was eating properly today and that I was well within my budget. I can't let one bad week get me down and keep me there. I can't go back to where I was, that is not an option.

Goal complete!

I love autumn! It's such a beautiful season. The coulees are so gorgeous when the leaves start to change colour. I had the opportunity to enjoy the coulees today (from a slight distance) and experience their fall beauty. As I said I would, I walked the West Side Hill again, both ways. I took a picture of the river bottom:

The other side of the bridge had more beautiful colours, but I would have had to go out of my way to take pictures, so this one will have to do.

My walk went very well. I did it alone, once again, because Ashlee was out of town and I was determined to complete my goal by the end of September as I said I would. It took me an hour and 50 minutes to complete the 10.18 kilometre walk (not including my break in between). I stopped for about 10-15 minutes at Tim Hortons and enjoyed a White Hot Chocolate (or half of one anyway).

Walking up to Tim Hortons was easy enough. My average pace per kilometre on my way there was 10 minutes 16 seconds. However, on my way home I was against the wind the entire time. Which, if you lived here, you'd understand that this is no easy feat. I live in a city which ranks within the top 10 windiest cities in Canada! For example, we currently have a wind storm warning for tomorrow where the winds are expected to get up to 110 kilometres per hour. That's insane! This happens on a fairly regular basis. While it was very windy today, I still managed to keep my average overall pace relatively low at 10 minutes 46 seconds.

I'm feeling very accomplished, though my legs are telling me otherwise. When I finally got home I felt like I may explode if I stopped walking, in a good way, if that makes any sense... Now I need to set a new goal for something to accomplish in the upcoming months. I'm almost done my RunKeeper goal of walking 125 kilometres before October 31. Since September 1, I have walked 107 kilometres, which is 86 percent of my overall goal. I suspect that I'll complete that goal this week also. I guess I will need to start running!

Unfortunately, aside from walking the Hill today, this past week has been a real bust. I couldn't seem to get out of the funk I was in last weekend. I weighed in on Monday and I did have a 3.9 pound loss, which puts me at a grand total of 31.7 pounds lost, but I imagine I've gained a pound or two over the week. I'm not even looking for a loss this week, the best I can hope for is to have maintained my weight over the week, but I'm sure that's not likely. I hardly worked out and I indulged myself far too often. But take heart! This is not a sign of things to come. The last couple days I've been feeling better; more like myself. I will get back into the swing of things and keep on truckin'! I've come too far to let myself go once again. That would not be good for my health and what kind of example would I be setting for my kids?

I've decided that I'm going to take my measurements tomorrow when I weigh in for the week. I can't see one day making a difference in the numbers. I'm excited to see how many inches I've lost! Like I've said before, I can already see differences in my appearance. I had to buy a new pair of jeans last weekend because I could pull mine off with no effort without undoing them first. Even my yoga pants are starting to get all saggy-bottomed on me! It's very exciting and motivating! How could I not keep this up?!

A bit of a breakdown...

I'm feeling a little rough presently, and as such, I broke down and stuffed my face. It's not as bad as it could have been,  but I still feel like crap both physically and emotionally. I ended up being 404 calories over my budget for the day, but a good chunk of my calories came from crunchy Cheetos and Oreos. I had originally intended to get a large Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but I talked myself out of it. I currently have two things eating away at me. I feel frustrated and alone and it's a terrible feeling. I thought having some "comfort food" would help make me feel better, but it only made things worse.

At the start of the month my oldest child was diagnosed with autism. We had already assumed that would be the case, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier to hear now that it is official. I've been trying really hard to put on a brave face and pretend like it doesn't bother me, but it does. I love my daughter with all my heart and her diagnoses doesn't change that for a second. The diagnoses does, however, scare me about how her future is going to look. She's not even three yet and I'm fretting over how she's going to make friends, how she's going to handle school and if she'll ever be able to have a family of her own.

What makes me feel even worse about the whole thing is that I don't always have the patience she needs and deserves. I find myself, at times, getting short with her. It's not fair to her, she doesn't understand. She can't communicate well, especially when it comes to her needs. The only way she's able to "tell" me that she needs/wants something is to whine. But oh that whine... It's enough to drive a person mad... I feel like such a horrible mother. A failure.

Which brings me to the next part. All this makes me miss my own mother. Come September 28th, it will have been two years since she passed away. I need her now more than ever. I could really use her guidance and help. While I realize that my life is not terrible by any means, it still feels unfair. Unfair that my mother should be taken from me so quickly. Unfair that I should be dealt a difficult hand of cards. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to handle it all.

My husband is very understanding and supportive, but he doesn't handle emotion very well, either his own or others', and because of this it makes me feel very alone. Hopefully things will get easier. For now, I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other. At least I know now that binging won't make me feel any better. I guess that means my dependence on food isn't as strong at it once was, so there's the silver lining. Part of the this whole process is making mistakes, learning from them and moving on. And while it doesn't feel nice to feel how I do now, I'm thankful that I learned something during this trying time.

Checking in...

It's been a little while since I last made a post. It has been pretty busy around here lately. But rest assured, even though I've been busy, my eating and exercise have not suffered! As a matter of fact, last week I walked a total of 47 kilometres! That's pretty awesome considering I only walked 50 kilometres the whole month of August. I set a goal in my RunKeeper to walk 125 kilometres by October 31, which I thought would be a struggle - considering I barely made it to 50 kilometres for August - but it hasn't been. I'm already 57 percent of the way to my goal. I guess it's not a difficult goal to accomplish considering I've been walking a minimum of five kilometres almost every day. My daughter started preschool at the start of the month, where she attends two days a week. The school isn't far from our house, so we walk, which gives me 10 kilometres a week just from walking there twice a week.

In the last two weeks I've lost another six pounds, which is a total of 27.8 pounds lost. I was absolutely ecstatic to see that I was under 240 pounds!  There is nothing more motivating than seeing the numbers on the scale continue to decrease. I have started to notice physical changes, which is also a great motivator. Shirts that were too snug before are starting to look nice on me. I'm getting close to dropping another pant size. My husband said he's noticed that my butt and thighs are shrinking. It's really giving me a confidence boost. I definitely won't have the "fat girl syndrome" when I've lost all the weight. Every time I can wear - and rock! - something in a smaller size, I do! All these little victories are making me feel great!

Yesterday was mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we went to The Keg for dinner. It was a lovely evening!  I enjoyed the childless company of my husband, a delicious appetizer and meal and the most to-die-for dessert (seriously, if you go to The Keg, get the Billie Miner Pie, it's like you've died and gone to heaven)!  I did go over my calories for the day. I gave myself permission ahead of time to enjoy the evening and not restrict myself. I figured that one day isn't going to hurt me. It's rare for me to go over my calorie budget for the day (before factoring in exercise calories) and I almost never eat more than my budget plus calories burned. Even with being over budget (my current daily budget is 1,650 calories), I was still under 2,431 calories for the week. So I'm still on track!

In about two weeks I'm going to walk the West Side Hill both ways. Is it odd that I'm excited about it? I'm actually looking forward to doing it, even though it might kill me. It'll be the longest walk that I've accomplished yet at over 10 kilometres. I do plan to rest for a bit half-way, maybe for 30 minutes or so. I'm going to be truly impressed with myself if/when I complete that walk!

I've also come to the conclusion that I'd like to start running. That seems like the next logical step. I really enjoy walking, but I can't just keep tacking on more distance every time a need to increase the challenge, otherwise I'll be walking for three hours a day. Sure, I can continue to increase my walking speed, but you can only increase it by so much before you're running anyway. I'll need to invest in a good sports bra and find my knee brace before I can attempt any running. I should also probably buy something to strap my iPhone to my person to keep it in place (currently I just stuff my phone in my bra, classy I know). I figure that I could start a Couch to 5 Kilometre (C25K) regimen within the next month or so. This will also likely lead to me breaking down and getting a gym membership. While treadmills are the bane of my existence, I'm not overly confident in my abilities to run in snow. We shall see what will happen!

I survived, hooray!

I did it! I did it! Hooray! I did it backwards, but I still did it! I finally walked the West Side Hill. I started at the Tim Horton's and walked home, rather than the other way around. My husband and I took the kids out for a picnic in the coulees, so I thought it would be easier to be dropped off at the Timmies and just walk home. I ended up doing the walk alone because Ashlee was indisposed this evening. It took me 58 minutes to walk 5.08 kilometres. I took some pictures so that you can see what I walked.

This is the top of the hill:

These next three are from the middle of the bridge, showing the way I came, the view over the bridge and the way I'm heading:

I was going to take a picture at the top of the other side, but I was in such a groove that I didn't want to stop walking to take the picture. The hill wasn't as steep as I was anticipating. The hill I walked Saturday was a lot steeper than this hill was. I'm glad that I accomplished my goal though. Because I started at Timmies rather than ending there, my husband went out and picked me up an Iced Capp for completing my goal. I had it made with milk rather than cream to make it *somewhat* healthier. It actually tasted better that way!

My next goal is to walk the West Side Hill both ways. I'll walk from my house up to the Timmies and back again, after having a break at the Timmies for a delicious Iced Capp! I plan to accomplish this at the end of the month.

September Measurements

I cannot believe that it is already the first of September! Where did this year go?! Time has just been flying by lately. September marks a very busy and eventful month. My son is 18-months-old today. My daughter starts pre-school on Tuesday. My wedding anniversary is on the 15th. I'll have something to keep me occupied, no doubt.

With the start of a new month comes taking my measurements to see if there has been any improvements from the previous month. I have mixed feelings over the results. On one hand, I'm disappointed that I didn't do better, but on the other I'm happy to see an improvement, even if it isn't what I was hoping for. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself. The week my in-laws were visiting I pretty much didn't exercise and the week after they left I didn't exactly go full-tilt into exercising either. You have to put the effort in to reap the rewards. Here are my current measurements:

Upper Arm: 14.5 inches (left) and 14.5 inches (right)
Forearm: 11 inches (left) and 11 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 28 inches (left) and 28 inches (right)
Calf: 17 inches (left) and 17.5 inches (right)
Hips: 49.5 inches
Waist: 42.5 inches
Chest: 39 inches

Last month's measurements can be found here. All-in-all, I have lost 10.5 inches total since August 1. I guess it's not so bad when you look at it in total inches lost. It probably wouldn't be too healthy to lose a ton of inches off of one body part so quickly. Slow and steady wins the race! I also weighed myself this morning, as part of some of the challenges that I'm apart of on Lose It! (I've been trying to break my habit of weighing myself daily). I've finally broken free from my 247.2 pound plateau and lost just shy of two pounds! I'm now 245.3 pounds. I'm very happy about that!

I did the coulee walk again yesterday. I upped the ante though. When Ashlee and I did the walk last week, we drove to the path and only walked down and up the coulee path. This time I was by myself and I walked from my house to the coulees, then when down into the coulee and back up and walked home after. It's a 6.79 kilometre walk round-trip and it took me an hour and 18 minutes. I was absolutely exhausted once I got home, but I felt very accomplished! I want to try and make that walk something that I do weekly, at least until the weather gets really crumby. I wouldn't want to try and walk that steep hill in the snow, that's for sure!

In other news, tomorrow is the day that Ashlee and I have set to walk the West Side Hill. I'm not sure how I feel about finally walking it. I've lived here all my life and never once in 26 years have I felt compelled to walk the length of it. At this point, the best I can hope for is that I don't die! If I make it to the other side in one piece, there's a large Iced Capp waiting for me at Tim Horton's! Wish me luck!

Highly motivated...

What a fantastic week I've been having! I didn't have an overly eventful week, but I've been really motivated this week to exercise. I have done some exercise or another every day since Sunday, which to me, is great! Usually I'm not motivated to work out every day, but this week has been different. Even on the days where I haven't felt up to exercising I've broke down and done something anyway. Yesterday I even took my kids out in the stroller for a five kilometre walk. I haven't walked that far at one time since February. It was nice. I was going to take the kids for a walk again this morning, but it's really windy and I didn't want to take them out in it (not to mention my double stroller is a pain in the rear to push under optimal conditions, let alone when it's super windy).

In addition to walking and/or riding my stationary bike, I've been using my Daily Workout app pretty much daily. I love that app! It's so easy to incorporate into my daily routine. At the moment, I only do about 10 minutes of "floor" exercises (I call them floor exercises because there are a lot that are done on the floor and for lack of a better name). Each day I do two of the four main sections for five minutes each. So one day I will do five minutes of arm exercises and five minutes of leg exercises. The next day I will do five minutes of each of the ab and butt (as the app so eloquently puts it...) exercises. When I'm feeling more confident in my ability, I'll increase each exercise's time increments to 7.5 minutes and then to 10, but for now five minutes works just fine for me.

I've been eating alright this past week, though I find myself really hungry lately. I'm not sure why, maybe because of my increased activity, I don't know. I've been trying very hard to make sure that I stay within my daily calorie budget and that I don't "eat" my exercise calories. This past Tuesday I was ravenously hungry, so I did break down and "eat" my exercise calories, but I didn't eat more than my calorie budget plus the burned calories (meaning, I was still in the clear for the day). Hopefully I don't feel this way for long. It definitely makes it hard to stay on track when I'm constantly feeling hungry. I've been trying to make good food choices when I am hungry, like snacking on an apple or some cucumber slices.

Speaking of apples, I came across a very tasty and not-so-bad-for-you apple recipe on Pinterest. It's called "Apples in a Bag" (the recipe is by Paula Rhodes). It's so quick and simple to make! Here's the recipe:

Ingredients
1 medium apple
1 packet of sweetener or a spoonful of sugar
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon water
Small handful of raisins, optional

Instructions
Peel or don’t peel apple, core and slice or dice. Place in freezer-quality plastic zippered bag along with remaining ingredients. Seal bag and shake well to mix ingredients. Reopen bag just a touch to vent. Microwave on High for 2 minutes – longer if you use a big apple. Carefully (it will be HOT and steamy) open bag and pour over plain or cinnamon-sugar pita chips, flour tortilla chips, oatmeal or ice cream.

Note: It is important that a freezer bag is used for this recipe. If a regular sandwich bag is used, it'll just melt and make a horrible mess in your microwave.

When I make them, I don't use the raisins and I use half a tablespoon of brown sugar, plus I just eat it on it's own (no chips or ice cream). I have tried both peeled and non-peeled apples. Because I have an issue with textures, I prefer the peeled apples because when you cook them, the apple's insides go soft (think of apple pie), but the skin remains hard and crunchy. It's just not a combination I find appealing. Once everything is combined and cooked, it's almost like you're eating apple pie or crumble, but without all the pastry. There are about 123 calories for this recipe and it's really quite filling and satisfies my sweet tooth. I actually need to pick up more apples so that when I have another sweet craving, I can make this again.

I've gotten in the terrible habit of weighing myself every day or every other day. I don't know why I've started to do this and it definitely plays tricks on my head. I don't record my weight on Lose It! every time I weigh, usually just on Monday (unless there was a pretty good loss). Since I recorded my last weight, which was 246.3, I have gone up to 247.2 and I have remained pretty constant on that number for the last few days. I'm not sure why that is. As I've said, I've been making sure to stay within my budget for the day. The only thing I can attribute the gain to is building muscle mass. I'm hoping that I can figure it out soon because not having a loss, especially when you're doing things right, is very frustrating. I also hope that when I take my measurements for the start of September that they will reflect a loss in inches to at least compensate for the lack of loss in weight.

Holy macaroni, Batman!

Oh my goodness! I just got home from the most intense walk EVER - if you can call it that. I decided that it would be a good idea to go for a walk... down in the coulees... For those of you that don't know what a coulee is, it's kind of like a valley (my dictionary defines it as a "deep ravine"). I dragged Ashlee along with me for good measure.

Going down wasn't so bad, neither was walking on the path when we got to the bottom (mind you the path was flat at the bottom...). But lord have mercy, going back up was an entirely different story! I thought I was going to die. On top of having to go up a very steep incline, we brilliantly decided to do this at night. Where I live, it's pretty dark by 9 PM this time of the year. The coulee probably isn't the smartest, nor safest, place to be walking at night. People aren't so much of a threat, but wildlife sure is! We have a very high population of rattlesnakes, primarily down in the coulees, which like to venture out at night. I'm pretty sure I heard one not far off of the path. On our way back up the coulee path, I saw a snake on the path - which made me scream like a little girl and start running. Thankfully, it was just a little snake, like a garter snake or something (I'm definitely not a snake expert and I didn't get that good of a look at it). Still enough to spook me!

Darkness, snakes and bugs aside, it was a good walk. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly we were able to complete the path. We walked about 2.58 kilometres, which took us 32 minutes including a couple of breaks to catch our breath on our way up. My average pace per kilometre was 12:28, which I'm pretty happy with given that I was going up hill and stopped briefly four or so times. My heart rate monitor (I bought the Polar FT4, I'll write about it sometime) was getting cranky at me on the way up. For optimal heart health, your heart rate should be within a certain range for certain activities. Generally, when you're wearing a heart rate monitor you're doing so while performing a physical activity, so the monitor beeps at you if you're not within a certain range. My range is 126 to 165. At one point, my heart rate peaked at 189! Yikes! I'm sure running from the snake, whilst going up hill didn't help matters. Thankfully, I didn't feel like I was going to pass out or anything like that. I was a little winded, but that's to be expected. I'm also thankful that I didn't end up having an asthma attack (which has often occurred to me while going uphill).

So, in the end, would I do it again? Sure. I just wouldn't do it at night!

Keep on keeping on...

I kinda fell off the face of the planet for a bit. My in-laws came to spend a week with us, so I tried not to spend too much time off on my own - which meant not blogging for a while. I didn't want them to think me rude or too much of a hermit, so I tried to spend a lot of time with them while they were here. They went home yesterday, so everything is essentially back to normal now. However, it was a lovely visit!

I wasn't exactly on par for my eating and exercise this last week. I ate far more than I should have and exercised way less that I should, but that's alright. My father-in-law is a wonderful cook, but most of the things he makes aren't all that healthy (read smothered in margarine or sauces). When he cooks it's hard to exercise self-control because everything is so good! My husband also did a lot of barbecuing (which he is fantastic at), so the whole week was a recipe for disaster for my eating.

I'm back on track as of today. I ate within my daily budget and Ashlee and I went for a walk this evening. I'm really trying my best to see that I make it to my goal. I feel very strongly that this time it will happen! Even though last week sucked for eating and exercise, I'm still down to 246.3 pounds - which is very encouraging! One more pound to go and I'll be back to where I was the first time around and then I'll be back in business!

This past Saturday I went to work (which is in a popular women's clothing store) and I wore my favourite pair of dress pants. I don't have a mirror at home in which I can see the bottom half of my body very well. Well, when I saw how I looked in those pants in the mirrors at work, it is needless to say that I won't be wearing those pants any more (which fills me with mixed emotions of joy and sadness). The pants were just hanging on me; the butt was so saggy! When I got home I tried on some of my older, smaller dress pants to see if they would fit and lo and behold! they did! So I now have three "new" pairs of pants that I can wear. Very exciting!

On a side note, I finished my little crocheted birds. I haven't been able to give them for my nieces and nephew yet, hopefully later on this week. But here they are!

Aren't they adorable!? If you're interested in learning how to make these delightful creatures, head over to Craftsy. The class will teach you everything, so if you have absolutely no knowledge of how to crochet, that's okay! I'm excited to make more of these birds to use as gifts in the future.

Keeping busy...

I've had yet another successful week! It would seem that round two is going substantially smoother than the first time around. I've completed 4.5 weeks with only the odd day here and there where I was over my daily allotted calorie budget. I don't even feel bad about the couple times I was over my budget because I feel that I've been doing great this time! I definitely have more confidence and motivation.

I weighed in this past Monday and I had lost another 1.9 pounds. I felt the need to weigh myself again this morning and I've lost another pound since Monday. My total loss is now at 18.9 pounds. I'm getting so close to where I was before and close to my next reward milestone of 25 pounds (I really need to finish my reward chart...), which means I'll get a mani-pedi! I'm so excited! If I keep on track and continue to lose around two pounds a week, I'll reach my goal weight of 160 pounds by June 2014. I can't wait!

I've recently been thinking I should try for less than 160 pounds. I weighed 160 pounds in high school, but I didn't really have the best eating habits then, so I'm wondering if it'd be attainable to be somewhere between 140-150 pounds. For now, I think I'm going to leave my goal at 160 pounds and have a huge celebration when I make it to my goal and then go from there.

I have been keeping myself really busy as of late. Of course, my two kids keep me pretty occupied, but in addition to my kids, I have picked up a couple of hobbies. I have had a passion for beadwork and making jewelry since I was seven or eight-years-old, but I have since revived that passion and I hope to turn it into some additional income in the near future. I have been broadening my knowledge and learning new techniques in jewelry design and I love it! There are so many things that I never even thought of before, like mixing two seemingly unrelated hobbies together like beading and crocheting. The results are so neat! I've got a necklace on the go currently using the crocheting technique. Maybe I'll post a picture when it's complete. My primary knowledge sources for learning new techniques are Craftsy and Sheffield School. The Sheffield School is based out of New York City and offers an array of courses through correspondence. Once I've completed the six unit course, I'll receive a certificate in jewelry design, which I think is pretty neat. Craftsy is a website that offers many, many different crafting courses in various different fields. While the jewelry design course offered through Sheffield teaches many different techniques, the Craftsy classes each focus on a specific topic. Both are nice. Sheffield gives me the basics, which Craftsy allows me to go more in-depth into a particular technique.

Another hobby I've picked up recently is crocheting. When I was younger, I figured knitting and crocheting were old lady hobbies, but they're not! There's so many neat things you can make with crocheting! I taught myself how to crochet using YouTube! I started out by making square dishcloths. Since learning, I've made a blanket for my baby cousin and have started working on some Amigarumi stuffed birds. Here's what one of my birds looks like, though it's currently incomplete.

I have four birds that are only partially complete because I've been waiting for their eyes to come in the mail. Funny how neither WalMart nor Michaels carry the little, black plastic eyes... I ended up ordering them online, but they had to come from Hong Kong, so it took a while. I finally got them in the mail today, so I can finally complete my birds! They're going to be birthday gifts for my nieces and nephew next week.

You're probably wondering why I brought my hobbies up and how that is in anyway relevant to losing weight... Well, it is! You see, by picking up some hobbies, it keeps both my hands and my mind occupied! If I'm not just sitting around doing nothing, I don't feel the need to be doing something which usually translates into eating. If I was just watching TV or playing WoW (World of Warcraft for you non-geek folk), I would feel the need to keep my hands occupied and that usually meant I was munching on something and likely that something was unhealthy. Now that I'm working on making jewelry or crocheting, I don't watch much TV and I haven't been playing WoW at all, which means that I'm eating less and not thinking about food - unless I'm actually hungry. It's great! I plan on making most of my Christmas gifts this year - which I've already started on.

If you're trying to lose weight, have you thought about picking up or have you already picked up a hobby? What hobby has worked for you?

Finally going in the right direction...

 This last week and a half, I feel, has been largely successful! I ate well and within my calorie budget and I exercised regularly. I typically try to weigh in on Mondays because the LoseIt! website bases its weeks from Monday through Sunday. From July 22 to this past Monday, I lost 3.4 pounds. I think that this is fantastic! I have LoseIt! set up for me to lose two pounds a week, so additional loss, to me, is wonderful! That puts my total back up to 16 pounds - five pounds short of my original 21 pound loss from earlier in the year. I expect that I will be back at that point within two weeks. I can't wait until this coming Monday so that I can weigh in again! Isn't that silly? I can't really say I know a lot of people who are excited to weigh themselves. But I am! There are days when I just want to go weigh myself to see how I'm doing, but I stop myself because weighing daily or even every couple days can spell disaster. Only four more days...

Today, being the start of a new month (can you believe that it's already August?!), I took my measurements. I forgot to take measurements in July, so I don't know if I've improved or not since I started for a second time. The last measurements I have are from March. Unfortunately, the numbers haven't improved from March, but that's alright. Nothing can dampen my spirits right now! I never did post my March measurements, so I'll list them now (for comparison):

Upper Arm: 14 inches (left) and 15 inches (right)
Forearm: 11.5 inches (left) and 11.5 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 28 inches (left) and 29 inches (right)
Calf: 17.5 inches (left) and 17.5 inches (right)
Hips: 50.5 inches
Waist: 43.5 inches
Chest: 41 inches

 Here are my measurements as of tonight:

Upper Arm: 15 inches (left) and 15 inches (right)
Forearm: 11.5 inches (left) and 11.5 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 29 inches (left) and 30 inches (right)
Calf: 18 inches (left) and 18 inches (right)
Hips: 51 inches
Waist: 44 inches
Chest: 40 inches

On the positive side, at least the differences are within an inch of each other and not like five...

 Exercising has been going great! I'm still walking regularly and I've been trying to add additional workouts to my routine - primarily weights and floor exercises. I've been going slow with the additional workouts because I just don't have the stamina and flexibility just yet - it's a work in progress and it'll only get better and easier as I go along. Right now I'm using an iPhone app (it is available for other SmartPhones as well) called Daily Workout (there are both free and paid versions - check it out here). I upgraded to the paid version which includes more features and exercises. I'm really enjoying it. I find it easier to commit to over a workout DVD because I can customize how long I do certain routines for. I will likely use my DVDs later, when I feel I am more in shape and can handle longer workout routines.

Walking, however, is fantastic! I still walk with my friend Ashlee. She is definitely a great motivator by getting my butt out the door as well as encouraging me to give it my all every time we go. We went for a 3.79 kilometer walk tonight around one of the nearby lakes. She kept cheering me on and as such, I made my best average time (according to RunKeeper) of 11:02 per kilometer. It beat my previous best average time by four seconds. It's a great feeling when you can see that you are improving. When we first started walking, I was closer to the 13 minute mark, so there's been huge improvement! We still plan to walk the West Side Hill at the end of August, so I'm going to need all the prep and improvement I can get before then!

Oh the disappointment...

It's been a long few months. In my last post, I talked about the difficulty I was having with keeping on track to reach my goal. Needless to say, I fell off the wagon and did so pretty hard. I could make a million excuses for myself, but there's no excuse valid enough to warrant giving up entirely. I would have a bad day, which I would just shrug off. Then in turned into two days. Then a week, a month... It just got to the point that I stopped trying, which is really sad because I had been doing so well. I had lost 21 pounds before I gave up - which I gained all but four back.

I thought about deleting my blog because I felt like an utter failure. Who would want to read a blog about weight loss when the writer couldn't commit to the goal? I changed my mind in the end (as you can obviously see). I decided that this is a learning curve, a hurdle that I must overcome and if someone does actually read this, maybe, just maybe, it'll help them too. I'm going to make errors - that is human nature. As long as I learn from them, I'm still going in the right direction.

I'm coming to the end of my third week of a better diet and exercise. I've been working hard to re-lose the weight I gained back. So far, I'm down 14.9 pounds from my original starting weight (10 pounds since starting again). Once I lose the rest of the weight I've gained these last few months, I'll feel so much better about myself. It really sucks knowing that I worked so hard to lose the weight in the first place only to have to start all over again.

I'm doing a couple things differently this time around. For instance, I'm not "eating" my exercise calories - meaning, when I burn calories through exercise, I don't eat more food because the exercise I completed put me under my calorie budget for the day. I just pretend that the exercise didn't make a change in my budget at all. I feel that it makes me less tempted to eat unhealthy things. Another change I made is that I'm staying away from my weaknesses. Last time I would allow myself to eat bad things because I had been doing "really good" for the day/week or because I'd exercised a lot which lowered my calorie intake number for the day. With me, I can't just have a bite or piece of something, I have to consume the whole thing or get the largest possible size - which clearly doesn't help my waistline. I feel that by staying away from those things that tempt me, I'm less likely to cave in and have more than I should have. On that note, I do know that I can't forbid myself to eat the things I love because that only causes a person to break down and binge eat. When I do decide to let myself have a treat, I'll just have to exercise self-control to ensure that I'm being reasonable about what I'm eating.

So far I've done really well. I've only had two days in the last three weeks where I went over my daily calorie budget. The days, however, were back-to-back last week and they were more than just a little over. I definitely noticed an impact from those two days on my weight loss and I made sure to do better this week. In addition to eating better, I've also been going to a walk four or five times a week. This week I added some light weight and floor exercises.

All in all, I'm feeling much better about myself and more confident in my abilities. I feel that I can do it this time around. Enough is enough. Wish me luck!

Old habits die hard...

It's been a while since my last post. Primarily, I had nothing really to say. I've been so disappointed in myself. It felt so easy in the beginning to stay healthy and exercise, but as the weeks go by it gets harder and harder. There are days when I just want to chow down on every single unhealthy thing possible. It's been a real struggle, mostly in the evenings. I can do fantastic all day and then blow my whole day out of the water in an hour or two at night. I've been going out a fair bit recently, usually to a restaurant with a girl friend of mine. It's really sad that when I do go out, it's after the kids are in bed, so I've already eaten my three meals for the day, but I'll still order food (and often a meal, not just an appetizer). I know how many calories are remaining in my budget for the day, but I eat anyway. And not anything healthy either!

This past week I've made more of an effort to watch what I eat and be conscious of not going over my daily calorie limit. I did fairly well; I only went over one day. My exercise, however, did take a hit this last week, which is the primary reason for being more vigilant over what I ate. I'm not sure what I've done, but I've got some pretty nasty pains in my lower back. I chalked it up to my poor shoes and the amount of walking I've been doing daily (2.5 to 6 kilometres daily). I did finally pick up a great pair of running shoes. I purchased a pair of Nike Lunarglides, which are simply the best shoes I've ever worn! It's as if I'm walking on clouds when I wear them! I wore them on my walk yesterday for the first time, and my friend and I walked 6 kilometres. I probably should have waited until my back had fully healed before walking so far because I'm paying for it today. I'm starting to wonder if there is an entirely different problem causing the lower back pain.

On top of the back pain, almost everyone in my household has come down with some sort of stomach bug. I'm feeling mostly better now, but last night and this morning was certainly a different story. I felt so bad for my daughter, who is two, because she seemed to have it worse than everyone else. I was up most of the night with her. I'm just thankful that my son didn't get sick. I've never had to deal with a sick child before, aside from the sniffles, and I can only imagine how challenging it would be to look after a baby with tummy troubles.

On the plus side, I weighed in this morning and I have lost 3 pounds since last Monday when I weighed myself. That is a total loss of 19.6 pounds and also put me under 250 pounds! I'm so excited about that! I can't even remember the last time I was under 250 pounds! I'm getting so close to reaching my next goal of 25 pounds and getting my next reward: a manicure and pedicure. Having seen a loss this week (and a nice one at that!), it has certainly renewed my drive to keep on this path and to try harder once again. It'll only be a matter of time before I reach my end goal and I can't wait! I guess I should finish my rewards so that I have something to work towards (aside from good health).

My walking buddy, Ashlee, and I have set a goal to walk the "West Side Hill" at the end of August. It's about a 4.5-5 kilometre walk from my home, up the hill to the Tim Horton's on the other side. The distance won't be the challenge, but the steep hill certainly will be! It's a long bridge that connects the two halves of the city together over a river, but the road goes pretty steeply into the valley before leveling out and returning to a steep hill on the other side. I thought August would be a good time to try, as it will give me a chance to become a more seasoned walker and also lose a bit more weight before taking the challenge on.

Ashlee would also like to start jogging; she's been interested in the "Couch to 5K" regimen. I can't quite commit to jogging just yet, but maybe one day when I have less aches and pains and feel more confident in my body to do something like that. Still, it's something to think about and possibly another goal to work towards.

Something else to look forward to is a nice little weekend trip up to Edmonton, Alberta to the West Edmonton Mall, sometime in August. I'm hoping to be down another 40 or so pounds before the trip takes place, which will make shopping more enjoyable. Plus, the mall has a fantastic water park that we would like to go to and it would certainly be nice to look a little better in a swimsuit than I do currently. So I'd better get cracking to make that weight loss goal a reality before then!

Redemption, however slight...

After a disappointing week and a 0.2 pound gain when I weighed myself yesterday, I decided to weigh myself again today. I'm not big on the whole weigh-yourself-everyday ordeal - I feel that it can set yourself up for disappointment and failure - but I wanted to see if I did actually gain 0.2 pounds or if it was just water retention from all the salty popcorn I ate the night before. I am currently down to 255.1 pounds, with a total loss of 12 pounds. It's not a significant loss, but I'll take a slight loss over a gain any day! I just have to be more diligent in my exercise and eating efforts to ensure that I don't have any more gains, regardless of how slight they may be.

I took my body measurements today. I'm not sure why I didn't take my measurements right from the start. It would have been nice to have a log of my body measurements before I started to see if my body has changed at all since I began four weeks ago.  My husband says that he can see a difference, but I think he may be a little crazy... It's only been 12 pounds! I could understand if I had lost 50 pounds, but not 12. Maybe he's just saying that he notices a difference because he wants to make me feel better, or maybe he actually can tell a difference, who knows. I know I can't see anything yet. Here are my body measurements currently:

Upper Arm: 14.5 inches (left) and 15 inches (right)
Forearm: 12.5 inches (left) and 11.5 inches (right)
Upper Thigh: 28.5 inches (left) and 29 inches (right)
Calf: 17.25 inches (left) and 17.75 inches (right)
Hips: 53 inches
Waist: 45 inches
Chest: 43 inches

It's interesting that the right side of my body is slightly larger than my left. I suppose it would make sense being that I am right handed, thus the right side of my body would be my "dominant" side. It'll be even more interesting to compare my measurements down to road to see if my right side always remains larger than my left side. I think I'd like to take my measurements once a month to see how I'm doing. I know that sometimes weight loss may not manifest itself in the numbers on the scale going down, but by the number of inches lost. I'll post my measurements again at the beginning of March.

I've been shopping around for a heart monitor. I thought it would be a good idea to purchase one because there are some activities I do, such as my workout DVDs, that I have no idea how to gauge how many calories I am burning. When I do my DVD (Beachbody's Slim in 6 - Start it Up), I've just been entering the data into Lose It! as "aerobics" because I don't know what else to classify it as. I tried looking online to see if there was any information about the number of calories burned for that particular DVD, but I didn't really find anything. At least with a heart monitor, it would give me an estimate of calories burned based on my heart rate during whatever activity I happen to be doing.

So far I haven't found a monitor that I both like and that is within my price range. There have been a couple that I thought about purchasing, but after reading the consumer reviews, I have decided that that particular brand/model wouldn't be worth it. I had a couple of people from my group on Lose It! recommend the brand Polar, but I'm still looking through the different models and reading the reviews before I finally make a decision. I want to make sure that I'm getting a good quality product. I should hopefully have one picked out and purchased by the end of the week.

Since starting my blog, I have started reading two other blogs that are primarily about weight loss. I have found them both very interesting and inspirational! If you're interested at all, you can check them out: http://lizzysweightlossquest.blogspot.com and http://abyerly.blogspot.com.

Slacking...

These last two weeks haven't been overly fantastic for me, especially this past week. I went over my calorie budget a couple days each week, most days it wasn't by too much, with the exception of yesterday and today. The days that I didn't go over my budget, I didn't make the best food choices. I'm disappointed in myself for not having more control over what I was eating.

When I weighed myself at the start of last week, I was down another 2.7 pounds, which brought me to a total loss of 11.4 pounds since I started. That's a pretty good loss considering I was only trying to lose 1.5 pounds a week. I did weigh myself today, though I didn't record it on Lose It! because I had gained 0.2 pounds, making me 255.9 pounds. Gaining, however slightly, was frustrating, but I should have expected it considering how the past two weeks have gone.

Last week I didn't exercise as much as I should have. I didn't complete my goal of doing my exercise DVD three days last week. I didn't even do it once. I only rode my stationary bike twice, which again didn't meet my goal of three times a week. I did, however, go for a walk three days last week, which has to count for something. This week wasn't much better. I did manage to do the workout DVD twice (it's a lot harder than I remember it being), but it takes a toll on my knees which is upsetting. Again, I only rode my bike twice, but I did go for three walks.

The food I've been eating, mostly this last week, has been awful, but sooooo delicious and hard to resist! I went out a few times this week and made some poor food choices. On Thursday I went to dinner with my sister at Denny's. My favourite foods there are the Moon's Over My Hammy and Smothered Cheese Fries. Between the two, they are 1,650 calories! They have ridiculously high calories on their own, but I ordered both of them together! What was I thinking?! Last night I went to a movie (I saw "Warm Bodies," which was fantastic by-the-way) and while at the theatre I ate a small, buttered popcorn, a large chocolate bar and a large frozen yogurt... Why on Earth did I find it necessary to eat all three?! I don't know why I couldn't have been satisfied with just one of those items.

Today was difficult for eating as well and I went hugely over my calorie budget for the day. As I'm sure you know, today was the Super Bowl and we all know that the Super Bowl is great time to get together with friends and family and munch out. This year was no exception. We spent the evening at my Auntie's house and I had resolved to eat healthy while there. Now, my Aunt and her hubby usually have a huge spread of various different foods, but today, much to my dismay, she did not. There was nary a healthy item in sight! Usually she would have veggies and dip, cheese and crackers... Not today. Today there was chili (which isn't totally unhealthy, if I actually liked to eat chili...), cheese biscuits, French fries and chocolate brownies. What is a girl to do when trying to eat right? Especially when everything looks and smells absolutely delicious (and my Aunt's hubby kept putting more food on my plate...). So, I ate far more than I intended and I'm regretting it now.

I suppose there isn't anything I can do about the mistakes I've made in the past, but I can move forward and try to make better choices in the future. I resolve to do better this week. To actually work out the way I've planned and to make better food choices and stay under my allotted daily calories. You can do anything you set your mind to and being healthy is no different. I knew that this was going to be a hard journey, and most days it feels like it's entirely an uphill battle, but I know I can do it. I just need to pick myself up and dust myself off and keep on going! In the past I would have come to a day like today and because I didn't eat perfectly, it would have been game over. I would have given up and gone right back to my bad habits. Not this time. I am determined to lose this weight, come hell or high water!

On a positive note, I have been getting outside for some walks. It's really nice to get outside and get some fresh air. I've never been much of an outdoorsy person, but being a stay-at-home mom doesn't give me the opportunity to get out often, mostly during the day because we only have one vehicle. The last two weeks haven't been overly cold, with the exception of a couple of days, so I figured I'd kill a couple birds with one stone - exercise, fresh air and getting out of the house for a bit. There is a small lake close by my home, so I've been bundling myself and my two kids up and going for a walk around it.

After a couple of walks, I got curious about how far I had been walking. I found an smart phone app and website called RunKeeper (runkeeper.com) which uses GPS tracking to keep tabs on how far you've gone. It also shows you how long you've been doing your activity (you can use it for walking, running, biking...) and the average time per kilometre/mile. I really enjoy it! I now know that it's about 2.65 kilometres (1.65 miles) from my house, around the lake and back. If you log onto the website, you have actually view a map with your path marked on it! I thought that was pretty neat! The RunKeeper app also syncs up with Lose It! if you have upgraded your Lose It! account, which I thought was pretty cool too (though I haven't upgraded my account). For now I'll just manually enter my exercise data into Lose It!.

I did also go for my massage yesterday, being that I have made it past the 10 pound mark. I had a 30 minute massage and it was delightful and relaxing! I wish that I could have a full body massage every day! Maybe I could somehow con my husband into doing that for me... Not likely! My next reward is at 25 pounds... Maybe I can reach that by the end of February, if I'm really diligent. Here goes!

Step Five: Reward Yourself

I'm starting week three of my lifestyle change and things are going well. I'm happy to report that when I weighed myself yesterday morning, I was down another 3.9 pounds! That makes a total of 8.7 pounds in two weeks! I'm putting a lot of effort into this change and it's nice to see that I'm being rewarded. I know it won't always be like this, that the more I lose the harder it will be, but it will all be worth it when I can cross the finish line of this weight loss journey!

I have a couple of goals that I would like to accomplish this week. Firstly, I'm going to continue on with how I'm eating. Some of the choices I've made aren't particularly healthy (i.e. Friday's pizza), but I was able to keep my calorie intake below my budget. As of my weigh in yesterday, my calorie budget is down to 2,025, but I've been keeping under that anyway, so it shouldn't be an issue. I'd also like to continue using my stationary bike like I have been. Last week I rode six of the seven days for an average of 35 minutes each time. I'm impressed with myself that I was motivated enough to do it six days! My goal was to ride at least three days a week. Lastly, I'd like to add a workout video to my schedule. The bike offers cardio, but I should add something for muscle tone as well. I'll try using the DVDs at least three days a week. The DVDs offer different stages, with the first one starting at 20 minutes. Gotta start somewhere!

On a different note, I watched a rather surprising video the other night. It was a lecture or something of the like that was done at the University of California. On the Lose It! website, I joined a group, "100+ Pounds to go," and one of the ladies on there shared a link for the video, "Sugar: The Bitter Truth." It's kinda scary! The video goes quite in depth on the cause and rise of obesity over the last 30-40 years. I would strongly recommend watching it. It's about an hour and a half in length and, at times, gets into some pretty in depth biochemical terminology and models, but the speaker does a wonderful job of trying to explain everything so that people without a degree in biochemistry will understand. There is also a similar series, "The Skinny of Obesity," also done by the University of California, available on YouTube. The series is done in a much more viewer-friendly manner.  I watched them both. I was awed and sickened at the same time. Definitely worth the time.

Once again, I digress...

Without further ado, the next step...

Step Five: Reward Yourself for Your Accomplishments

I've been told that when you are trying to lose weight, it may be a good idea to set rewards for smaller goals achieved. Say, getting a massage done once you've lost 10 pounds or something along those lines. Obviously the biggest reward will be the weight loss, but sometimes the whole thing seems like an uphill battle... Which it is most of the time... It's nice to reward yourself for the little accomplishments. The reward should not be edible, as that would be counter-productive.

I've been racking my brain about when and with what I should reward my progress, but I can't seem to think of anything. I had made a list of rewards for myself a few years back when I'd attempted losing weight (it was done with medication and I wasn't able to maintain the loss once I stopped taking the pills), but the rewards that I had then don't really interest me now.

I think for now I'll just set up a "rough draft" of my rewards and I can change them as I see fit.

- 10 pound loss: Get a massage
- 25 pound loss: Manicure/Pedicure
- 50 pound loss:
- Weight below 200 pounds: A new purse (maybe Guess! or Coach)
- 80 pound loss:
- Goal reached: New wardrobe!

I'll have to think about it some more and update it later. I honestly can't think of anything I'd like to reward myself with (other than a big bowl of ice cream)...

Step Four: Remove the Offenders

Today was my first weigh in day and I'm happy to report that since I've started I've lost 4.8 pounds! It may not sound like much, but to me that's a huge success! When I weighed myself last Sunday, I was starting at 267.1 and I'm down to 262.3. It was very pleasing, and encouraging, to see such a high number, considering I was only expecting a pound or pound and a half to be missing.

I owe my success to a website that a cousin of mine turned me onto called Lose It! (loseit.com), which also has a Smart Phone app of the same name. It's perfect for me because it puts everything into perspective. I've looked at the nutritional information on packaging before, but it never occurred to me how it all adds up over the course of a day. Sure, a three-pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups only contains 220 calories, but when you eat four packages at a time, that's 880 calories! Based on my current weight and the goal of losing 1.5 pounds a week, I should only be consuming 2,051 calories over the course of a day. If I were to eat four packages of Reese's, well I've just eaten half my days worth of calories and there's nothing nutritional about a chocolate bar.

Calorie counting may sound daunting to some, but it has allowed me to take a good, hard look at what I've been doing to myself. I don't want to kill myself over sugar any more, it's not worth it. Since I've been watching what I eat and exercising regularly (which I've done six of the last eight days, unheard of for myself), I can honestly say I feel that I am satisfied. I'm not hungry, I'm comfortable. I feel great!

I've also learned something about myself over the last week. I do actually have will power! I just had to want to lose weight bad enough before I realized that I do actually have control. I actually feel empowered to make proper food decisions. I spent the evening with a friend last night and she had veggies with dip and chips out on the table for snacks. I'm not going to lie, the chips were very tempting, but I stuck to the baby carrots and ranch dressing. Did you know that for every 30 chips you eat it's roughly 270 calories? I really had no idea. It makes me sad to think that I used to eat half a large bag at a time without a thought about it.

This all leads to the next step.

Step four: Remove all Offending Foods and Drinks from the Home

Why put yourself in temptations way with it laying around your house? If it's not in your home, it's more difficult to obtain. This way you're more likely to make a healthier food choice or realize that you're not really hungry in the first place. I feel fortunate that I've never been much for beverages other than water, however, I have a terrible habit of eating as something to do. I've stopped having things like ice cream in my house because if it's there, I'll eat it. I can eat a litre of ice cream in less than four sittings.

I feel good about removing the things that tempt me from my house. If I'm hungry in between meals, I'll slice up an apple or have some yogurt, rather than eating something full of empty calories and will only make me hungry again in the near future.

If you do decide to keep certain treats in the home, it's important to exercise restraint against either eating the item or eating more than the recommended serving. My husband picked up some butter toffee peanuts, one of my favourites, while picking up a few items from the grocery store. I have eaten some of them, but I've stuck to the serving size listed on the package. I know 1/3 of a cup doesn't seem like a whole lot, but I only eat that amount (I actually measure it out) and I'm actually satisfied with it. I just eat them slowly and one at a time to saver taste. At 250 calories per 1/3 of a cup, I can't afford to go over for risk of blowing my whole calorie budget for the day, especially on something like candy-coated peanuts.

It's also important to remember that just because you don't keep certain treats in your home, it doesn't mean you're never allowed to eat them again. It's okay to have a treat every once in a while, in moderation. Moderation is key. In past attempts at losing weight, I've cut things entirely out of my diet, such as my beloved Reese's, and it's only led to me having a craving and then binging. For myself, once I broke down and binged, that was the end of my attempt at weight loss because I felt like such a failure. This time, I'm allowing myself to have the treats I love, but I'm going to be careful about how much and how often I do. One package of Reese's is okay, four is not...

Step Three: Setting Goals

As of January 6, 2013, I have started my new lifestyle. I'm not calling it a diet because a diet is a temporary change in food consumption. The changes I am making are to be permanent, mostly if I want to lose weight, keep it off and kick my addiction to sugar.

The third step of my quest: Setting Goals.

1. The first, and most important goal, is to become healthier. I am a severe asthmatic and I have a  knee condition, both of which are strongly affected by my excessive weight. It would be nice to be able to breathe easier and not have achy knees all the time!

2. I need to eat more produce. I'm a very picky eater. I have a major issue with textures, which is why I don't eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I like most of the flavours, just not how the fruit or vegetable feels in my mouth. I do eat some veggies from time to time, but I hardly have any fruit. I'm going to start making fruit smoothies and have them for breakfast (a meal that I tend to skip). I am also going to try to have a fruit or vegetable with every meal.

3. Eat smaller, more sensible portions and foods and stop eating once comfortable. I have a very bad habit of continuing to eat something because it tastes so good. If I really like something, I will eat until I can hardly move or I feel ill. This is especially true of sweets (going back to eating multiple chocolate bars in one sitting). I have heard multiple things to help with feeling fuller, faster, without over eating. There are a few that I'd like to try. First, drinking a glass of water before every meal. This will help to fill the stomach up a bit before eating. Another is eating slower overall. It is proven that people who eat slower are slimmer because it takes some time for the brain to realize that the stomach is full. This is why people who eat quickly, including myself, often eat until they're uncomfortable because the brain hasn't had a chance to catch up with the stomach. To help eat slower, I've heard that you should chew each bite 10-12 times before swallowing and to put your fork or spoon down between each bite. Lastly, while eating you should ask yourself how full you are feeling on a scale of one to 10, where one is very hungry and 10 is uncomfortably full. A healthy number to stop at is six or seven, which is a comfortable full and will sustain you until you have your next snack or meal.

4. Stop eating after 8 pm. This is currently a big problem for me. It could be because I don't eat breakfast or it could be out of boredom, but regardless of the reason, it needs to stop. If I'm eating after 8 pm and I'm not physically active, all those calories are going to be stored as fat because my body doesn't have any reason to burn them off. So, if I don't eat late in the evening the problem is solved!

5. Exercise!! Currently, the only exercise I get is cleaning my house or going to grocery shopping (which I only do once every two weeks). At this time, any form of exercise will be a vast improvement. My current goal is to go for a walk at least three times a week and to use my stationary bike three times a week. Once I become comfortable with each of those exercises, I can increase the length and intensity. I'd also like to eventually do some other activities, once my body gets used to being active on a regular basis. I'm interested in taking a Zumba class; they look like they'd be a lot of fun. I'd also like to get back into indoor rock climbing.

6. Weight loss. My goal is to get down to at least 160 pounds. I feel that for my size and stature, this would be a comfortable weight. It may sound cliché, but I am big boned and I don't think I'd ever be able to make it down to anything less that 150-160 pounds. I would like to lose around a pound and a half a week, with losing at least 75 pounds by the end of the year.

I feel that these are achievable goals and that I will succeed. I just need to keep my chin up and keep focused.  I know there will be challenges along the way, but I cannot get discouraged. I cannot quit. I will do what I have set out to do!

Step Two: Creating a Support System

Happy New Year!

The time has come for me to embark on my weight loss journey. How cliché to wait until the new year to start, I know, but it seems like as good of a time as any. I allowed myself to enjoy my holidays with no holds barred. I know it wasn't the wisest idea, but hey! things are going to be way different from now on. For the better.

Step two of my weight loss journey: Creating a Support System.

This step is so important. In previous attempts at losing weight, I did not have anyone rooting for me, so to speak. Not having a group of people, or at least one person, helping you through the challenges that you face, can set yourself up for failure. It is important that the people close to you are on the same page or they could be setting you up to fall without even knowing it. I know I have a number of people who would be willing to help me along. Who doesn't want to see a friend or family member who struggles with obesity succeed in becoming healthier?

Having a support system may also help you succeed if you feel accountable to another person other than yourself. I know I don't care about myself and what I think when I scarf down a few chocolate bars in one sitting, but it certainly doesn't feel good to know that I'm letting someone else down when I do. With a support system in place, I will likely think twice before making unhealthy choices.

I started this blog in hopes that I could find at least one person that I could share this journey with. By putting myself out into cyberspace, I feel like I'm making myself accountable to an indeterminate number of people. And who knows? Maybe I'll inspire someone like myself to take this quest with me!

In addition to the online support, I have created one close to home. I have recruited my long-time friend in my endeavor.  She, like me, has been struggling with her weight. She has agreed to be a walking buddy. It may not seem like much, but a brisk walk is a great form of exercise, especially for someone like myself who is very sedentary. It'll be nice to have someone at my side who knows my struggles first hand.

My husband will be my primary supporter, though that wouldn't come as any surprise. Of course he would want his wife to be healthier, and I daresay, thinner. I have asked him to take some extreme measures to help me stay on course. Not only have I asked him not to succumb running to the store if I ask him, but also to bluntly point out if I'm faltering. I know it will be hard to hear my husband making comments about what and how much I eat, but it's for the greater good. I need to hear it.

Lastly, my children. I know they can't verbalize their support for me, but I know they would if they could. It's more in my mind than anything, to know that what I'm doing will help them too. I know that by seeing me make healthy food choices and participate in regular exercise, it will be easier for them as well. Not to mention, if I'm healthier I'll be around longer for them. And what greater motivation is that?